Writing my first published article gives me tons of anxiety. Enough to make me want to crawl into my bed and turn on Netflix and have the cool baritone voice of Michael Scott soothe me back into comfort. Which is when the thought popped into my head…people have the ability to watch these movies and shows, they just need to know what to watch.

The entertainment world is at the tips of our fingers and it’s almost a problem. There is too much stuff to choose from! And if you are anything like me then you spend 58 minutes and 37 seconds trying to find a show or movie to watch with your dinner. Now your dinner is cold, your girlfriend wants to stab you, and you eat your cold macaroni and cheese with your salty tears because you couldn’t pull the trigger on a movie or TV show.

This time around I am going to offer 5 movies available on Netflix right at this very second that if you have not seen, you need to re-evaluate your life choices. If the creative drive strikes me again, I will work on a TV show version (The Office will be #1 until its taken off Netflix or they add The Simpsons; this is your fair warning).

 

#5 Armageddon

What to What on Netflix January 2018- Liv Tyler, Armageddon
The beautiful Liv Tyler

That’s right. I will go super controversial on my first pick on my first article. But dammit if this movie doesn’t just suck you right in. I love everything about this movie, even its super obvious faults. I am a sucker for Liv Tyler and this is like almost prime Liv, right before Lord of the Rings, Liv Tyler. I digress. This movie has an All-Star cast and keeps you entertained throughout with some good laughs and some great special effects. The ending is perfect and wraps everything up into a nice little bow. (Shut up I’m not crying…you’re crying.) Perfect movie for you and a lady friend. Or boyfriend. Basically, anyone that you want to touch you.

 

#4 Ace Ventura Pet Detective

What to What on Netflix January 2018- Ace Ventura Pet Detective, Tutu, Dance
The best scene in Ace Ventura Pet Detective

Ah, that comedy that helped shape my youth. Who hasn’t talked out of their butt because of this movie? This movie holds up so well. It’s one of the rare comedy movies’ with a great story that you are interested in all while making you laugh along the way. I still quote this movie just about every day and I promise it won’t stop. Stop reading and go laugh. Vintage Jim Carrey guys, c’mon.

 

#3 Caddy Shack

What to What on Netflix January 2018-Caddyshack Movie Poster
Caddyshack Movie Poster

I love this movie. Anyone that has a problem with it can kiss the fattest part of my ass. Can I cuss on here? Hm, I guess we will find out. Back to the topic at hand…another All Star cast before they all got famous. Some of the most quotable lines in all of cinema are all in this movie. Everyone talks about my good friend and yours, Bill Murray in this movie. While hilarious, the best part is Rodney Dangerfield. I would stack Rodney up against anyone in a one-liner battle. I just Youtube’d (is this really a word? I feel gross for saying it) this scene and its perfect comedic timing. Go ahead. I’ll wait…*

Tell me you didn’t laugh at the hat/soup line. Just try and tell me you didn’t. If you got a problem hit me up on my twitter @boot76. Go ahead. Tweet “@” me bro. *Thanks for that line bromish! 😉

 

#2 Wedding Crashers

What to What on Netflix January 2018- Wedding Crashers
Long comedy but so funny

I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. I love it because it’s hilarious, it’s very well written, an incredible cast, director, and the one-liners. Oh, the one-liners. I just told my girlfriend 5 minutes ago to “Grow up Peter Pan.” Phenomenal movie. But it is looooooooong. Not in the traditional sense, but for a comedy it is long. Which I usually don’t have a problem with but I have a repressed memory I have to share with you guys ( I really need the clicks guys).

In high school, I played football and got decent grades. I didn’t get picked on but I was shy as hell. Still am until you get to know me or I am safely behind my computer screen. Ipso facto…I sucked with getting dates. I could talk to women, I just was cursed with the friend zone. Well not really a curse, I did it to myself, but you get what I mean. I am the nice guy. So my mom (*my face is turning red actually typing this*) tells me there is a girl at her work who thinks I am cute and I should take her out. I gather up my nuts and actually call since I’m old and texting was not a huge thing quite yet. As you can guess we decide to go see this movie. So I am all pumped and ready to go and I show up at her door looking fly in my American Eagle jeans and polo and she answers the door. Trying not to be mean I will say the following phrase that I hope summons up what I felt at the time, “Buzz, your girlfriend…woof.” I was not into her at all. So I had to sit through this 2-hour movie that just would not end with this girl all over me trying to break her off a piece of my Kit Kat bar. I’d say more but I’m trying not to hurt anyone except my own dignity.

So go watch this movie and enjoy the laughs and think about me wriggling away from an over aggressive girl on a first date and then making up an illness to leave directly after the movie. Hopefully, that’s worth another chuckle.

 

#1 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

What To Watch on Netflix January 2018- Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring
Why are you still reading? Go watch this right now!

Ahhh…the masterpiece. I don’t care if you aren’t into fantasy stuff. I don’t care that Game of Thrones basically took most of the things in these movies and made it sexier and gorier. I don’t care if Clerks 2 absolutely destroyed this movie (Definitely NSFW).

This is an absolute must see if you have seen any movie in your life. Did I forget to mention a prime Liv Tyler is in this movie? Phenomenal acting on top of an even better story. “Gandalf” was my password for most internet things for a while. I think if I could remember my old email, it probably still is the password to my Myspace and Xanga site. Damn, I’m old. However, this is the only nerd movie that will probably ever win an Oscar so I got to throw that out there. You either love Lord of the Rings or you’re wrong.

 

Should be next in your queue…

Tropic Thunder

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Star Wars: Rogue One

Jaws

Captain America Civil War

Batman Begins

 

 

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